Why not blessings for me?

I have been trying to understand Gods love, because right now, I don't feel very loved. The last nine months of my life have been torture. I keep asking myself, am I being punished? Everything has been going wrong and I am EXHAUSTED trying to keep up! What did I do?

For some reason I keep thinking I have to earns Gods blessings... like, if I pay my tithing, read my scriptures, go to church, keep in touch with my family, do good ALL THE TIME, then I will be blessed with the things I stand in need of.

All of that is crap! Why? Because everything I consider to be a blessing is given to people who did NOTHING to earn it!

Exhibit A. and I quote "Children are a blessing"
Then why are children given to abusive parents? Or teenagers with no sense of responsibility? Or to people that don't even want them, so they abort it? Did they EARN that blessing? No.

Exhibit B. another Quote "Having a stable job is such a BLESSING in this economy"
Then why are jobs given to people who ARE NOT qualified, or who just know someone who knows someone? Or to people that have been lazy every day but then one day decided, hey, I am going to get a job, and then, BAM, they get a job! They certainly did NOTHING to EARN that blessing.

So why do I keep being told I have to do MORE, because quite frankly, Im tired, and I don't think I can do more right now.

God help me understand.